A page for quotes I enjoy. They can either be quite thought-provoking or relatable, but most are just plain amusing.
"TikTok is its own ecosystem of degeneracy." -Charlie/MoistCritical (YouTube: The Most Hated TikTok Creator)
"Stop stabbing each other." -Charlie/MoistCritical (YouTube: I Tested Cheap vs Expensive Stab-Proof Vests and Nearly Died)
"And you can't spell 'go fuck yourself' without 'fuck you'." -Rosa Diaz (TV: Brooklyn 99)
"My philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice." -Newt Scamander (Film: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)
"I just do cocaine and play Minesweeper." -DougDoug (YouTube: Can Barack Obama's hands win a game of Mario Party?)
"I think this game is any where between two hours to ten hours depending on how stupid you are." -Insym (YouTube: Portal is 17 Years Old and Still a Masterpiece)
"I want my ashes pressed into a playable CD of Skyrim." -Joov (YouTube: I Tried Your Terrible Skyrim Ideas)
"There are no wrong answers, just better ones." -Bjorn, AI prompted by DougDoug (YouTube: Peggle Speedrun, but an Ai Robot threatens me with trivia)
"What type of building had a BIG OOPSIE in Chernobyl?" -Bjorn, AI prompted by DougDoug (YouTube: Peggle Speedrun, but an Ai Robot threatens me with trivia)
"I will come over there and I will change every song on the Stanley Parable Soundtrack to be the sound of you getting your ass beat." -Davey Wreden (YouTube: Peggle Speedrun, but an Ai Robot threatens me with trivia)
"You are so far off, it's as if you aimed for a green peg in Peggle and hit the fucking abyss instead." -Bjorn, AI prompted by DougDoug (YouTube: Peggle Speedrun, but an Ai Robot threatens me with trivia)
"You should never allow your ambitions to exceed your ammo supply." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind 2, Episode 19)
"Is that an MP5? It is! Now I can solve up to eight-hundred problems a minute!" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 11)
"I've brushed with Death so often, I should start giving him high-fives when I pass." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 22
"Trinitrotoluene doesn't care what mood you're in." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 29)
"You know, as much as I'd like to claim this was the result of me being a genius, it's more that someone else was not." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 30)
"Error 482: Somebody just shot the server with a 12-gauge. Please contact your administrator." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 33)
"This is not a democracy! I have a gun, so I'm in charge! Many governments around the world function on this principle, and some of them last for months!" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 37)
"I actually don't hold a grudge against someone talking trash about me if they're shot afterwards. I try to rise above that and find my own peace." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 44)
"Yeah, that's kind of where my life is right now, where I know my best option isn't going to work" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 46)
"There's people who give you the evil eye, and then there's snipers. Big difference." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 46)
"Friends are like weeds that scream." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 47)
"You're the reason we have napalm!" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 49)
"See, this is why I'm such a good theoretical physicist. I solve problems that shouldn't even exist to begin with." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 53)
"I thought we all worked for the same company! Why are divisions backstabbing each other? Are we Microsoft? I'm sorry, I thought I worked at Black Mesa!" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 60)
"Look at this. I've never had any military training, so I don't know the correct procedure for these things, but if I saw my buddy run around a corner and get shot, then I saw my next buddy run around the same corner and get shot, I don't think I'd run around that same corner... but I use discretion. You're not allowed to have that in the military." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 22
"Ah, tick-tick-tock. Is that the sound of a Geiger counter or my lifespan counting down? It's both! That's right. Here at Black Mesa, when we talk about 'half-life,' we mean it in more ways than one. So make your peace, and come to Black Mesa. Here, you'll win a chance to fight freaks of nature, escape countless safety hazards, wander aimlessly for hours, and die scared, tired, and alone!" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 18)
"Man, if I get indicted once I leave here, this is getting harder and harder to explain. I don't think anyone's gonna buy a few dozen counts of self-defense with a submachine gun. I think there's kind of an unspoken rule in our society that if this many people are trying to kill you, you're supposed to be dead." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 22
"I have no problem with going up to a grieving widow, and telling her 'I'm sorry for her loss, but her husband was a rat-fuck meathead who tried to kill me for no goddamn reason, because he was too stupid to learn what the word "civilian" means.'" -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind, Episode 23
"I still can't get over how fast they got here. These cops make so many mistakes, maybe that's the one thing they do right. Like how Domino's promises thirty minutes or less. Maybe here from the time you dial 9-1-1, they pride themselves in arriving to put a bullet in your head in under fifteen minutes." -Ross Scott (YouTube: Freeman's Mind 2, Episode 11)